Craziness has striked again...

I just heard a very interesting line when I was watching Jerusalema, for the first time mind you. A movie every black person in South Africa is either talking about it or they so want to see it badly.

The conversation or rather lines that intrigued me goes like this:

Lucky Kunene: "... What's with you white people, you have nice houses, smart cars, fancy clothes, and you still come here".
(use your imagination what does he mean by come here if you have not seen the movie yet).

White lady: (Scared and relieved at the same time). "... When you are rich, poverty seems glamorous and it has a certain charm..."

Just right there, the white lady's reply got me thinking. I stop concentrating on watching the movie and my imagination started running wild. The reason being, I have lived and seen a couple of white people who think that it is cool to be black and poor.

I don't think if tables were turned, my beloved white ppl will be able to stand a black man's standard of living. I am just saying...

Today is the 31st of December, I am in Joburg and I have noticed something, people no longer celebrate xmas anymore, they are now putting more effort into partying the 31st away, until the morning baby. Well, that was me as always thinking aloud and getting out of tune. Let me go and iron my jean, clean my fab sneaker and head to the streets.... Ayooobanesssssss.

The Power of Money...

Everyday and night 4 individuals out of 5 are working hard to become rich. No one wants to be a loser, unfortunately when you are not rich or wealthy you are regarded as a loser. There are so many thing that can make one a success and as it just happens, money is one of those components but I bet to dissent.

Money isn't just luxury, it is power. For instance, each country depend on its GDP in order to sustain its economy. Managers, CEO, Directors do keep an eye on economic indicators to help them anchor their ships firmly at bay. Unfortunately most people do not know how to use the power money throws at them.

The most common mistake made by people with money is the illusion of thinking they can buy Love and Dignity since money can buy goods. Love and dignity are traits one have within and you cannot buy them. If you see people befriending you because of your money then the only thing you should know is that you are nothing without pesos. Friends will no longer be friends as soon as they sniff money no more.

People with money tend to look after themselves, they don't care whom they hurt along the way to richness or to what they perceive as happiness. Happiness I believe can be bought, its a pity a bought felicity does not last.

If you look amongst rich celebs, you will realize that they give a small fraction of their earnings to charities. Well, that is nothing but a publicity stunt. Some do give generously though and other give to make a difference.

Think of all the good that one can do in the world. That, lean to crop up to all those that aren't rich. Do you believe they live up to that dream as soon as the lady luck decide to shine upon them?

If money is power then I believe it should be used to do good in the world.

Seek information first b4 passing judgement...

Speaking ill of other in order to make yourself look good is wholly sickening. There are quiet a number of sickos out there but most of them do acknowledge the problem they have. What seem to peeve me most is the fact that the audience tend to think they know the whole story after hearing only one side of it. In a probability theory I learned that when an event has a 0.5 probability of happening that does not guarantee that the upshot will take place. So, if you base your inference on a case that is missing half of the data, then your assumptions are basically inadmissible.

I have been carked by an incident that really took me by shook on Sunday. One of my x's friends claim to know me and he goes around telling people what kind of a person I am. Funny, I have not met him, only heard about him, more of a basic information and I was not interested in knowing him.

I don't blame the gull, he basically got lectured quiet well. What I will appreciate and will like to see happening is one getting to a point of gathering all the facts before passing a judgement.

Trying to be cool...

I was just thinking right now. Weird thoughts though. I did math and I used to regard it as my life. I did enjoy attending math classes even if it meant the class stretching to extra time. Now, something has been intriguing me for weeks now. There is this equation that I seem not to classify so that I can know its roots. It's looping me.

I once talked about people who are born stars and those that were born to be natural so that we can have a balance. The same question crops up but in a different frame of reference. Now, what I am thinking is a "brand". There are people in life who claim to have changed but still they have covered themselves with a fake blanket. Changing the way you look in order to depict change does not equate to one being altered.

I might be confusing you here. Se ke se buang motlhomongwe ga se ise tlhogong, ke tla leka ka matla aka otlhe go ka tlhalosa without losing the contextualization of my point.

A brand is a brand and you pay a lot of money to maintain it provided it is an important one. That's reality. That is why we have trademark restrictions and before you can use one's trademark you are required to ask for a trademark exemption. There are those that comes and goes. They are called fashion.

Now, if you use to be a stuck up cow and you decide to have a life of a socialite, that is not regarded as being changed. Change comes from within not from the outside. Change is handling things that do matter with delicacy and discarding those that do not matter. Change is living your life for the better not to impress other people in order to feel needed because the time when you run out of honey, them bees will move on, you will be stuck and left alone to pick up the pieces.

I tend to see people who claim to be having fun but there is a line on their face that demoes otherwise. Simply a line that shows that the person is not totally happy and they are just showcasing felicity but they just can't portray it decently.

There is an old saying that my granny (May her soul rest in peace) used to say," If you lie to yourself you end up believing your lies". I know a couple of people who affirm strongly that they have changed but their so called change is just a front. You need just one dissembled act to make them revert to their old self. Unfortunately by doing that you will simply be horrid. So, let them think they have changed but by the time they realize they are fooling themselves, their time would have ran out. It's a pity, in this planet you get to live once, immortality does not exist but simply imaginary.

Fake does not last... Rather live your life by being your oneself rather that trying so hard to fit in a society that will spit you out as soon as you run of out flavor.

Ditch The Dutch

I may sound old-fashioned but when a guy asks a girl out, there's only one way to go on a first date when the bill arrives -- the guy pays. Do you think that is fair? Especially now that women have a 50/50 principle going for them. Again, guys are to be blamed, no matter how many times the woman offers to chip in, the answer is "thank you, but no." It's just the thing to do to make her feel special. And be clear. Wavering can be just as bad as accepting her money.

Now, how does this work with guys, let me just say gay guys. Who pays the bill? I will leave that question in your capable hands... I know you will tell me who pays the bill.

Having 100+ friends on a Social Network...

I am still bewildered by all these social networks, be MySpace, Hi5, Student Village, Edumela or the mighty Facebook. What gets me flummoxed is the fact that one person can have over 100 friends on one's friendship list. How do you deal with all of them? That is one question that comes in mind. The second question I ask myself. Is it a competition or popularity? I mean, take a phone directory for example, it is highly impossible for you to contact all those people you entered on your phone directory. Mind you, they don't exceed 50, but on the social network you have over 100. Wow, that can be inferred to one being addicted to being a socialite. People should realize that there are those who were born to be celebrities, do not force nature. Similarly to singers, we were all born with the capability of singing but we are not all stars. I am just vocalizing my opinion here. On my profile, I do not add celebrity wannabes. That is how it is...

Update...

I have been listening to Jennifer Hudson's new album recently and I must say I am in love with the track called invisible. The track is awesome, speaks to me in many different ways. I have been happy lately, I think I have finally found what I am looking for in a relationship. You know who you are... You are awesome. mwaah. You bring the best out of me.

President-Elect, Barack Obama

I will like to take this moment to congratulate the American President Elect, Barack Obama for becoming the first Black American President. History in the making I must say. Now, the American will know where Africa is situated.

I am feeling the vibe in Chicago right now, and reminds me of the time Nelson Mandela was released from prison. What a feeling of joy and happiness. Even though Obama has a tough task that awaits him, I believe we are going to see a change in the American history, whether good or bad but since I am an optimistic young lad, I believe it will be a good one. Over and out..... l8r.

Where have I been...? (",)

I have been neglecting this space for the past two months. Wow, it has been so long. I sort of got disinterested in writing, but by the looks of things I am recovering my thaumaturgy. Work has been keeping me busy and the global financial crunch has not been making it easy at work. For starters, the company retrenched 10 people and the campaigns aren't doing that well; that means more work and micro-managing of ones work in order to meet the prespecified benchmarks. It is hard do but Aluta Continua... There is no other way.

The good side is that I have made few interesting friends and I am looking forward to going home in few weeks, wow, being with my family is what keeps me going for now. I am also planning not to come back to Cape Town next year. That means? Goodbye the coast and hello high veld. Away from the horrid and pretentious people I met here.

I have so many resolutions lined up for next year and I can't wait to execute them, I am so chuffed, but for now, I have to live the ones I made this year. Some did not pin out but I am commoved by the ones I've achieved. I still have time to rectify the mistakes.

For example, just to name few:

• I happen to have four most important people in my life, Tshidiso, Monde, Tumelo and Chris.
• I have a very loving and supportive family structure, they have never judged me in whatsoever.
• My career, which I believe the best is yet to come. I have learned a lot in a year that I have been working.
• And waking up this morning and be informed that Barack Obama has taken the lead in the Presidency college elect votes, that made my day. One black man who is ready to enter the white house and make it his home. His motto " We can" and "Change is what we need". America has now being blessed with two big O's; Oprah and Obama. Ooh Lord bless America for not judging Obama by his skin color but by the content of his character.
  

I have seen some people that I know claiming that they have changed for the better but still require other people's confirmation, rather trying to convince themselves that they have changed. A tiger never change its spots. Nomakanjani, unless you are hypnotized and made to forget the "old" you. Well, good luck to them.

OK, I am starting to talk shit now. Let me bounce out of here. L8r...

What could be wrong?

Nothing actually. I have decided to emancipate my mind form mental thralldom and pay homage, concentrate on my work and make my career blossom. I have not been writing a lot lately... but I will put something up soon.

Yello OBZ....

I had a very weird but exciting weekend. Yeah, I moved out of Pinelands finally. I now no longer have to worry about them snobbish white folks looking at me when I go or come back from work. They probably asked themselves if I was a thief or looking for a gardening job. Well, I now moved to Observatory, love my place, it is so cozy and it accommodates me and best of all, I am sharing it with me, myself and I. You know what does that mean right? Well, if not then you need to work on your thinking abilities.

My big sister Lesego and her friend, Nozi came to visit on Saturday and I was glad they came. On Sunday, I just decided to have my usual time all by myself but I craved for a glass of wine so badly. The other thing that I love about my place is that I only get to walk for 10 minutes before I get to work, no more waiting for the flipping train for an hour before I can get to work. I just love it OK. Well, let me get back to work before I get fired.

Nelson Mandela's six tips of Leadership

Courage is not the absence of fear – it’s inspiring others to move beyond it.

Mandela was often afraid during his time underground, during the Rivonia Trial that led to his imprisonment, during his time on Robbin Island.

“Of course I was afraid,” he later confessed. “It would have been irrational not to be. I can’t pretend that I’m brave and that I can beat the whole world.

“But as a leader, you cannot let people know. You must put up a front.”

Lead from the front – but don’t leave your base behind.

Mandela initiated negotiations with the apartheid government. His reputation was on the line. He went to each of his comrades in prison and explained what he was doing.

Slowly and deliberately he convinced them that negotiations were the route to go.

Lead from the back – and let others believe they are in front.

Whenever he held meetings with his colleagues, Mandela would allow them to speak while he listened attentively – only after they had all spoken would he speak.

It is wise to persuade people to do things and make them think it was their own idea.

Know your enemy – and learn about his favourite sport.

As far back as the 1960s Mandela started learning Afrikaans. Everyone from ordinary jailers on Robben Island to PW Botha were impressed by Mandela’s willingness to speak Afrikaans.

Keep your friends close – and your enemy closer.

Mandela believed that embracing his rivals was a way of controlling them; they were more dangerous on their own than within his circle of influence.

Mandela also recognised that the way to deal with those he didn’t trust was to neutralise them with charm.

Appearances matter – and remember to smile.

Mandela understood the historical correlation between leadership and physicality. He understood how his appearance could advance his cause.

As a leader of the ANC’s underground armed wing, Umkhonto weSizwe, he insisted on being photographed in fatigues and with a beard. Throughout his career he has also been concerned about dressing appropriately for his position. – Source: Time and Leadership magazines.

African Institute for Mathematical Sciences

The revival of science in Africa has been made firm since the year 2003. This brainchild belongs to Prof. Neil Turok who is a Cosmologist. The institution called AIMS is situated in Muizenberg, South Africa in a renovated hotel and the students learn and live at this building. They stay there for the duration of the course which is nine month. Since the running of the institution, over 200 students have graduated from AIMS. The attention is given to graduates who have a back-round in all the disciplines of science from all over Africa. Securing admission is not easy since an applicant must show interest and also results must speak for themselves.

AIMS acknowledge the realities of a multilingual society and a multilingual environment. The institution subscribes to an accommodative multilingual framework according to which functional multilingualism is implemented. What goes on inside the building is solidarity, brotherhood and sisterhood, ask me I know all about it; a new community, a new family. There is no university in the world where you can find people of different cultures and color, living, sharing and studying together like at this institution. The director, Prof. Hahne said most of the students see studying at AIMS as an opportunity of a lifetime and they give it all they got, I just can’t dispute that.

Lectures are given by cutting edge lecturers all over the world for the whole of seven months and the last two students do write an essay on a topic of their interest. The course is structured such that each student tend to do a different course which they might have taken at the university or never before in order to ensure that after finishing with the course they are able to correspond to other scientist in different fields. The approach is also slightly different from the university where the student comes from because mathematics is no longer a pen and paper when studying at AIMS, rather students uses computers also. Unfortunately, I chose to go the marketing route.

This institution is well represented by its alumni all over the world (including me of course) and this is leading to other projects like this one to develop in Africa, the project is called AMINet, you must check it out. Running the institution is not easy even though if a student is given admission you have secured a scholarship that covers everything a student need, thanks to the sponsors and also the South African government which has been sponsoring AIMS. I had a privilege of meeting the minister of education, Naledi Pandor to name few. I made friends all over Africa and I feel like an African because I can go to any country in our continent and I can assure you I will never sleep on the street. One of my favorite lecturers was Liz Moyer, I have never meet someone who is so energetic and willing to take time of her busy schedule and come down to Africa to share the knowledge she has.

If you want to read and learn more about this amazing place, we you can go ahead.

Who is who?

The world was astound by the Xenophobic attacks that were taking place in south Africa. From there, we hear big name, the likes of Archbishop Desmond Tutu saying the attacks are a sign that the poor South Africans are flogging because they have waited a long time for the promises made by the Government to be delivered.

I'm black, a South African black who is poor and did not go as far as discriminating people because of their nationality or race. There is one thing that was not explored when the appointed committee was investigating the cause of these attacks. Black people here are still in living in an apartheid era even though we have been a liberal country for the past 12 years.

• My people prefer to respect a white person compared to their own.
• We believe we can get rich, and white people are the only ones who are rich.
• We believe we speak the same language.

To substantiate the last statement, here is what I find:

• If I am black and stay in Cape Town, I am either a Xhosa or a foreigner.

When I come across fellow brothers and sister at the shopping mall or in the taxi or train, they speak to me in Xhosa, and if I say I don't understand I get weird looks, and they start talking to others in their language about me. The most question you would hear is, where does he come from? The response they get is, He is a kwerekwere. If you try your best to speak English, they say they are not white people. I fell so ashamed to talk to them most of the time because I don't know their native language. But do they know mine? No. That is not all, you get looks too when you answer the phone in your language, most of the time I feel like ignoring my calls. this is not happening only in Cape Town, it is everywhere in South Africa.

You raise eyebrows when you talk in your language but when a tall beautiful French lady start saying," bonjour, comment allez-vous ?" after picking up her phone, she does not get the looks you as a black person do get. If you are black and speak French, then again you are a foreigner.

I think what could be done to ease this stereotype in our society is to take all black South African and put then in a rehabilitation centers, I strongly "believe" that our minds have been programmed to think and behave the way we do and that needs to stop.

Funerals...

I spent most of my time thinking about how my funeral will be like when I decide to leave this horrifying planet. I went as far as writing my own eulogy, crazy isn't it. There is one thing that intrigue me to date though, it is how we perceive funerals according to our race and religions.

The way white people mourn for their loved one is different from the way blacks in South Africa mourn. Mind you black people are not all wealthy, well, few are rich but the rest are poor but still make ends meet.

When a white person dies, he/she get to be kept in a morgue for close to three days and buried on the fourth day or end up being burnt to ashes (Ooh sorry, cremated). The number of people attending the funeral will be around twelve or so unless the deceased was a well know person. The funeral service gets to be conducted in a church and last for 15 minutes. When the priest is now done with his speeches that went like, " ashes to ashes", in my language it will be molora mo moloreng, everyone goes their different ways or go to have a cup of tea at home. Now tell me, how much do you think the bereaved has spent to have the deceased buried? Think about it. I would say less than five thousand. You get to hear those who attended the funeral raving on about how great the funeral was, the dignity imposed really showed how well the bereaved appreciated the deceased. One thing that I love about white people's funeral is that they attendees will be wearing black outfits representing a mourning period. That's respect right there... Don't you agree.

Now, back to my people, black people in South Africa. I don't know what I am about to write about here is also being experienced around the whole Africa, unless a western culture is being practiced.

When one of my people die they are kept in a mortuary for two flipping weeks. Are we that special to be kept in a freezer for that long? OMG, and the family visit the morgue everyday to wash the corpse, put on make up and so on. Maybe all this is lead by the fact that the three women in the bible, Maria Magdalene, Jesus Mom, and darn I forgot the third one, went to Jesus tombstone, holding perfumes to smear it on his body? Who knows, Amasiko nje. The reason I am saying that is the fact that my folks were so frustrated when my uncle kicked the bucket few years ago, they never got to mourn, they kept on worrying about what people would say if they come to pay their respects and there won't be anything to give them (coffee, tea, or food). What a culture. We go to a length of getting the most expensive coffin, and then we have to worry how the deceased will be coffined. We buy an expensive suit at Truworths, whereas he died while he/she was used to feel comfy when wearing a simple pair of a jean and T's. Is that respect? I bet to differ. I want to be buried in my favorite T's and my funky bermuda. Otherwise I will haunt those who put a suit on me. There are things that need to be done when a black person is given a respectful burial:

• The priest get to be bought, some pastors charge close to R2,500.00 to conduct a burial service.
• Ladies, amantombazana, they need to come and peel the rind off the vegetables, then make fancy salads.
• During those two weeks while someones poor body has been refrigerated, close to seven sheep's and three goats need to be slaughtered. Mind you, one sheep cost R600.00 nowadays if you get it on a bargain, the owner will tell you that he had slashed the prices.
• You would have visited the supermarket four to six times already, no matter the interest rate surging all the time and per visit you spent over R1,000.00.
• If the deceased wasn't paying his dues at church, you will have to pay from the year he/she stopped paying. Never mind the fact that you hired a man of god.
• We would want the funeral to be done with "green grass".
• Every family member's got to have an outfit for Saturday when the deceased will be buried. It's all about fashion.
• NB:A cow has to be slaughtered. Back at home they call it a "Bus", if your neighbors did not see that the cow has been slaughtered, well, you might as well count them out of those who will be attending the funeral.
• As if that is all, the poor bereaved worry if Thabo Mbeki will be attending the funeral, and will he be coming with six black BMW's or what.
• The list is endless.

I might be unfair here because I know a lot about darkies funeral than my white friend's. In a black community, a good funeral means the number of people who attended and how tasty the food was. Who was wearing what? Ladies aren't afraid to wear pink, I mean a bloody flipping pink outfit as if they are attending Hancock's movie premier. Now this is what gets under my skin, it goes beyond vexing me, is the phone ring tones you hear when the priest is praying. At this point, it is when the organizers are checking if the after party celebration is still on. You get Mr See Me Please singing to the top of his voice because he saw Miss Thang wearing designer sunglasses that fills her whole face, and the poor thing her nose is so flat, you just see the nostrils, and the guy is trying his luck.

Funerals are no longer dignified in our black communities, I think the SAMA awards are dignified compared to funerals now. The feedback you get from the two events correlate perfectly.

At this point, I only attend funerals of my closest family members and friends. The reason being, I ran out of outfits to wear and apparels are now expensive. To update your wardrobe will require a three months salary.

I am going down...( not the Mary J Blige song)

Oooh I wish... but one needs to rise up and take the challenge.

Getting to know someone...

I always ask myself if I would be able to distinguish between a jerk, fake, and a chancer. The reason being, I always fall for people who end up hurting me. Am I cursed? That is a question I always ask myself. I tend to be trustworthy and understanding when I am interested in knowing someone but my kindness get returned by demising deeds and I end up feeling demineralized. Weird I know... I have been sharing a flat with someone whom I thought is a kind and giving person, or maybe I was blinded by the fact that he talked a lot about God and how he gets disgusted by the behavior of people sometimes especially when they act horribly. At the end of the day, he turned out to be a nightmare to handle. I believe he's got a mental condition or something, and the highest possibility is that he is a spoil brat who never got to learn what struggle mean. I always get baffled by those who think they can buy their way by flickering their flipping notes around. Money can not buy your sanity, nor happiness or people who will regard you as a friend. Consideration is the key to my believe that, it keeps you at an equilibrium point with your peers and they get to appreciate the person in you. Now, what intrigue me most is, how do I know that the next person whom I meet who wants to build a friendship with me won't hurt me in the long run? I am not perfect either but I know where to draw a line. What characteristics does one needs to peruse before you open your doors of friendship to a passerby? At this moment I am happy just being in my own space. That is watching TV, reading, being on my laptop when I am not at work and sleep. Is this an indication of isolation on my part? I think so... But fuck it, so long as I am not hassling anyone I am happy the way I am. It helps to have time to yourself most of the time, to review your way of being. I love it... The way of being is define nicely below:

This WAY OF BEING is based on direct observation. (It is not a projection of ideals, or an attempt to solve physical or material problems, or to create wealth, or to possess power). It is a personal submission to the Great Way, not in defeat, but in LOVE, as recognition of the great strength, power, and wisdom.

Its purpose is to serve Being, by bringing into awareness and putting into practice, the sacred responsibility of caring for its growth. We know, that in order to take good care of something, we need to be sensitive to its needs. We must also have some idea of the purpose which is expressing itself in the form of these needs.

So, before we speak of caring for Being, we might ask "What is the purpose of Being?"

Observation only reveals that Being is change. So, perhaps what we can honestly say is that all we really know of its purpose is this changing. As Human Beings we have a choice. We can embrace this changing, or we can fight against it.

I call this changing process growth, as a reminder that Being is a living thing. Being, growth, and health are one and the same. The way of Being is caring for its growth, and its health is a reflection of its quality.

Growth is the natural state of Being, but the quality of its health encompasses great extremes. It can be restricted and stifled, or it can be forced and strained. But both of these efforts actually weaken it. The strongest, most powerful, and long lasting growth, occurs naturally, without any manipulation whatsoever. For this reason, it is so important to allow growth its own time.

In reference to guiding growth to produce an envisioned result - this is actually weakening too. Being determines its own way, and takes its own form, in its own greatest strength, when its incomprehensible wisdom is trusted and allowed.

But this is not to imply that an individual has no part or responsibility in growth. The exact opposite is true. The kind of allowing that is required is so subtle that constant vigilance is necessary. One's senses must be kept open and receptive, in order to be as responsive as possible to the unique stimulus of each moment.

But at the same time, one must not interfere or distort the will of wholeness, by becoming disconnected from it in selfishness. This is one practical reason why many spiritual teachings urge us to reach beyond the limitations of our personal point of view.

Being naturally cares for the needs of each and every distinction of its parts, but it has such an unexpected way of doing this, that its care also contains the subtle teaching of its own nature.

Through conscious practice, it nurtures and feeds itself by giving and receiving. Neither of these can be practiced to the exclusion of the other. Both are important and necessary.

In this way it trains us to be attentive, and to serve it willingly and responsibly. One becomes its trusted and reliable servant

The senses - of perception, intuition, reflection, and feeling of all kinds, are highly refined capabilities, and are invaluable when used with the skill of experience. This must be said because, as a culture, we have been taught to distrust and invalidate this realm of experience, and to rely only on the proof of rational, intellectual, and logical thought.

But the senses are actually a direct connection, and a way of "understanding" that which is not rational. They teach when they are recognized and honored, and they grow as they are used. Actually, every ability and talent of our form is a part of purpose. And, it seems that purpose in our lives has to do with their integration, allowing Being the ever greater and clearer expression of its way.

There are many things that can interfere with this way, but the main one is simply ignorance. The value and wisdom of this kind of growth is not common knowledge. So, an integrated awareness of the way to allow Being must be learned and practiced. Learning is found on every sincere path, and our lives are our sacred practice.

Being is One, so an obvious example of this practice is to treat oneself and the other with the same sensitivity and quality care. There cannot be strong growth of one and not the other.

All is One and grows as One.

It is for this reason that compassion is considered important, and why judgment is considered as something to be avoided. Compassion opens the heart, allowing energy to naturally flow, resulting in strong growth. Judgment is essentially a refusal to accept what is. It creates a kind of friction which restricts the flow of energy, and weakens growth. The practices of extending compassion and refraining from judgment, lead to a greater unity in awareness, and a greater ease in Being. So these are important in caring for the Whole.

There can be great difficulty when it is realized that the opening which is necessary for giving and receiving, is also an open door for negative energy. But this is really a blessing in disguise, because it forces one to find the strength of an even deeper understanding.

The awareness that includes both positive and negative in its growth, it truly whole, and allows one to serve wholeness. From this point of view, it can be seen that all kinds of energy are food for growth, and that which we commonly react to with a negative interpretation (insult, disrespect, disagreement, pain, hardship, etc.) are really lessons for us. When we rise to meet the challenge, we are automatically embodying every available resource of our Being.

This is the way Being naturally integrates itself. When this is understood, we can be more relaxed in the process, and even learn to experience it with appreciation.

The wisdom and knowing of Being speaks to us in all aspects of growing. And the natural sensitivity within ourselves, which we nurture through our practice, can sense and understand it, just by being it and noticing it.

Over time, a trust grows, and a skill develops. Then the practice of flowing with it, of allowing it to determine itself, and make of us an ever more understanding, sensitive, and responsive part of it, becomes a service.

But all along, no matter at what stage we may find ourselves, we are truly practicing our sacred responsibility as living creatures. And this practice is ultimately the essence of value and meaning.

It has no goal and it has no end.

It arises out of LOVE, as the expression of Being itself.

It satisfies itself in its own Being.

Our senses do naturally guide us in this direction. My own sensing of a need has prompted me to write down these thoughts, which originally grew out of my own need and practice. They are meant to nurture the growing awareness. Not to be rigid rules.

Freedom, what does it mean?

In South Africa we regard those who were born after 2004 as born free, but what is freedom. People tend to hover around when trying to come up with a proper definition of freedom and democracy. Freedom is simply the condition of being free; the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints whereas Democracy means the government of the people by the people for the people, at least I learned that when I took History as one of my subjects at school.

In our bill of rights they state that we have freedom of speech, but the are things that one can't just blurt when ever they feel like expressing one's feelings because the message can be conveyed in a state where one tend to hurt the other one's feelings. Maybe I am still not grasping the whole concept here. Since I am in a democratic company and I feel I am free except from thugs can I go into my kitchen and steal my food, say anything I like, drive 220km/Hr, smoke dagger or "tik"? Well, you will be acting immorally according to social ethics.

There is only one thing that one need to think about, which is , at what point does my freedom impinge on another person's freedom, and therefore nullify such freedom?

The only thing that I believe will be able to solve all the social hindering that we tend to experience in SA now and then, is to let people learn what it means to be having rights. Most human rights that are on our bill of rights tend to keep others under suppression due to the fact that they are not being exercised properly. If you are allowed to smoke, which is by choice, do it in a sense or manner that other around you don't get to inhale the smoke, spitting in pavements really? that is too goofy for my liking. Well, I believe South African need to be taught on how to interact socially and responsibly. When we got what is called freedom, people thought it is a chance to do whatever they felt like doing without being responsible about their actions.... We need to learn... not just at school and varsity but everywhere you go you need to learn about things that are surrounding you.

Anti Foreigners violence in South Africa.

I have been stunned by the riot going on in Johannesburg, Alexandra township recently. As a South African citizen, the question that arises in my head is what is it that I want for my country, so that I can be proud and be able to raise my SA flag so high to show that I am proud to be a citizen of this country. Definitely not this disgracing inhuman violence that has been infiltrated to our African brothers and sisters. Yes, we are poor, we are still waiting for the Government to deliver on their promises but that does not mean we need to take our frustration out on others. Someone claimed he has been paid to cause the riot, others say the people who are not South African they take their jobs away. How do you expect to have a job while sitting at home and blame those who do come and make use of every opportunity that you as a SA citizen don't want to take advantage of. How will this impact on the upcoming world cup? How can we be so barbaric to our fellow human beings? It looks like people are no longer listen, I mean this issue has been condemned by Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu

The attacks have been concentrated in Johannesburg's poorest areas, and many of the victims were Zimbabweans who have fled repression and dire economic circumstances.

The Nelson Mandela Foundation issued a statement condemning the "senseless violence" that police say was sparked a week ago in Johannesburg's Alexandra Township. The police, ooh don't get me started on those ones, they are to be blamed too. Police are not helpful to foreigners, they will rather ask for their ID's and if the poor person does not have one, they will arrest him in public casting racism words. Well, it looks like this time since they have been propelled to quell the incident, they might come right after all.

As a South African I feel sorry for other South African who are overseas because they might experience the outcry of all this. Just put yourself in the shoes of those Zimbabweans and other who have been assaulted, victimized and tortured during this riot and ask yourself how will you feel if the same thing was to be inflicted on you.... I mean really bo kae botho?

South Africa's Premier Theatre Awards...

A few weeks ago I had a chance to watch the prestigious event on SABC3, the Naledi Theatre Awards. I was blown away by the set up, simple yet classy, I simply loved it. The presenters were timeless, beautiful and knew their story. Apart from the event being all glorious, I couldn’t help but worry from the fact that most nominees were from the following plays only:

• Hair
• Hair Spray
• Rent
• The Lion King
• Fiddler on the roof

As if that was all, I was astonished when I saw two people or more being nominated in one category from the same production or rather a play. That resulted in the nominee having a greater chance of scooping the award which according to me is not fair. Well, who am I to argue, the judges’ decision was final and probably that is how the Naledi committee operates.

The good news is that the performances on that night were stupendous, tasteful, vibrant, enticing, and guaranteed to make sure you stay glued to your screen. Who ever said our white brothers and sisters don’t have soul? If you still doubt, well you should have seen Danny K collaborating with the Soweto Gospel Choir. Tamara Dey was simply sizzling; her voice is one of those that make me keep on buying our local music. She is now a well established muse. Mmmmm….

On that note, I believe Loyiso Bala’s days of glory are numbered. There is one Bala brother who sings like a song bird, (Google the name) is his name and Loyiso must watch out because the brother is slowly but surely stealing some of his lime light. Well coming back to the Naledi’s, Zwai Bala and (Google the name) Bala of the Bala brothers delivered a sensual performance. To top it all, our own well known South African Pop Idols judge, Mara Louw gave a thrilling performance together with the Hairspray cast. Ooh, I was speech less, I knew she could sing but not like she did that night, I fear that she can out done one of them screamers, the likes of Beyonce (I am not hateful, Queen B Knowles is the bomb, I love her music). I strongly believe the likes of Kelly Khumalo, Chomi, the bling girl Khanyi Mbao, Somizi, and the wanna be muses could learn from Mara how things are done in the music industry.

Most of the time when the award winner step up on the stage you hear things that are now too cliché, even though it was the case here I was baffled by the speeches given by the life time achievement awards receivers. Wesley Msomi, who is a well know writer gave a lame speech, I think he did not edit it or maybe he was trying to be creative, I mean giving us info about his parents and his type writer. As if that was all, the second achiever gave a terribly speech regarding her husband, but it was a good thing that his son was there to rescue his mother from ouch speech she gave.

During fashion shows, designer creates a dress, it could be wedding gown or something out of the ordinary and call it a show stopper. Ooh man, the Naledi Awards had one that was unplanned called Lebo M. I am not going to say much on the issue, just watch the video and you will understand why I say that. Ooh, excuse the video’s resolution, I know they suck but the main objective is to get the juicy details of the shoe stopper.

Beside what was said by a well know producer of the Lion King, Lebo M, the show was awesome. Good television I tell you.

Christianity and judgement…

There is a distinctive strain of writing in the bible that more or less specializes in dealing with human experiences. One thing that I don’t understand at the moment is people, who “claim” to be Christians; instead of finding the inner peace for themselves they judge others by using the bible. Don’t get me wrong, I do go to church any chance I get, not a born again though, but I get devastated by how most of preachers or bible teachers interpret the word or a scripture lesson. It is fairly common among people who get interested in religion to get proportionately disinterested in their jobs and families and other things that matters to a human being, the more of God the less of the human. What I meant is that when a so called born again is at work, they tend to question every system that is in place at work especially if it does not fit into their godly world. Thereafter, the interest in doing a proper job or being happy in a work place diminishes slowly.

Yes, we do believe in God but we also have to put ourselves in others shoes, remembering that we are not all equal. If you are sitting there and get pissed off because a fellow human being is worried about the increment of food prices instead of fixing a path with God then you better get off you high horse and stop judging. Who are you to say that someone else’s way of living is wrong? Are there ways you live the right way? We are all different and we are here in this world to serve a purpose and if that purpose is to live our live in sin according to you so let it be. If you think God is a God of a second chance then you got nothing to worry about. I am not trying to ease a guilty conscious mind you nor condone the wrong doers out there, all I am saying is let us stop pointing fingers. We are all God’s children and he created us in his image. All you have to remember or ask yourself is, is this the way God want things to be?

Christians are too judgmental, and that tend to make their lives a living hell; not all of them though. Can we all be left to live our lives? Does Christianity really have to clash with our inner being? What about our cultures? Missionaries came later but our culture and the way we used to express ourselves has always been there for ages.

Surburbs life for a black man?

Ever since I came to Cape Town, I have been staying in white areas... well, areas that belonged to white people during the oppression times. I mean Muizenberg, Rondebosch, Claremont etc. At the moment I am staying in Pinelands, which is still dominated by white people.

What bothers me most is the fact that I pay thousands of rands to stay there but when ever I pass white folks on the streets, I can see that the "poor people" are scared of me. We have been in a democratic country for the past 14 years but still we blacks we are seen as thugs. The other day, I came late from work and I was walking slowly to my place and one old white lady was waiting for her kids to come out of the house and she parked the car outside the yard. You wont believe what she did, as soon as she saw me she came out of her car, pressed the immobilizer then jumped at the gate and while she was doing this, she was looking at me and I could see she was terrified.

As if that is not enough, when I was unpacking my stuff after moving in the complex, I was in the kitchen putting cutleries away. I was listening to my favorite radio station MetroFM.
All of a sudden I hear a knock, me thinking well, here comes this nice white lady to welcome me, then without greeting me she claims that I am disturbing the area with my loud music, mind you my radio was not loud. Ga ke motho wa diploto gore ke tshamikise Radio ka volume e kogodimo, unless if I was half deaf. I switched it off completely. Before she left she ogled the flat. I think she wanted to see if I have something illegal so that she can call the cops on me.

Later that day, her neighbor was watching Cricket and the racket he caused was not objected. Then I said to myself, it is a white thing. The next day, I am going to the shopping center to buy bread then I meet up with the white guy staying opposite to my duplex. He greeted me and I was saying to myself, wow, I got greeted by a white dude, to spoil my mood he said,"...so you are the person who will be staying here? How many of you will be occupying the duplex?". I nearly punched him, I calmed myself and told him I will be sharing with one of my colleague, then he left. Ooh by the way, my flat mate is white, and he came late that day. Remember we are new in the area, then he goes and do the washing at night and he hanged them in his room on a curtain rail. How stupid is that?

The following day coming back from work, we get a 70 pages document full of rules and regulations and a note that said, do not hang your clothes on your curtain rails otherwise you will have to deal with the board of trustee. Since my neighbors didn't notice that I was staying with a white lad, they thought I am turning their beautiful area into a township.

Well, the white people aren't to be blamed for their behavior. All I can say is gaaah sis for the Darkies, thinking their all that. Well, the black guys staying tin the area they will look at you as if you are trying to steal the 15 minutes of fame away from them. If they can afford to stay in that area so can I, and so can you motho o montsho. I get to be looked like I stole something or I stink like hell, after all the barbecue happening at Daddy Satan's place.

When I do my washing, I am mostly helped by white folks in the area, I don't know if they are being polite or just scared of me, when I have a R5 change and need a single R5 coin, they are happy to help, but ask your fellow black lady or monna, they reply with this fake American accent. They don't even greet when they find you at the laundromat.

As if that is all, staying in the suburbs is a curse in disguise, when I am with my white friends, I get to be looked at strangely by my black brothers and sisters, in a way of making me feel like a sell out. I get to be looked from head to toe, and I end up felling out of place.

Just for that, a rainbow nation to me in order to be experienced we still have a long way to go, I mean even at work, most of your white counterparts become nice to you just to avoid being labeled racists or whatever, unfriendly maybe.

Just imaging what are white people saying when they see a black man like me joking on what used to be their territory? That is worse I tell you. I am not going to get to it anyway. All I can say is that, we have to try to live with one another without looking t our skin color nor hair textures, in that way, we will have peace of mind.

All good things in life are either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or carcinogenic.

What happened to the times when people lived normally without being judged or punished for having fun? I mean if you want your life to have a meaning at least you got to have done something illegal. Just to live a little. You don't want to look back in 60 years time and find out that you lived a dull life.
Take for instance:

• You get to have a weird kinda good feeling when you are drunk, but if you want to have the feeling everyday, the probability of you being an alcoholic get fatter by the day.
• I remember the first time I smoked weed I was so high and full of energy that I would have had sex the whole night, round after round but if you do that you will eventually become a junky.
• Ooh the chocolates, eating them relieve or reduce your stress level but the impact, ask me I have a belly to show for that, I keep on asking myself, what the fuck happened to my six pack? Shit, the answer chocolate and KFC, ooooooh not to mention Coke.
• If you are homosexual in all aspects, I mean gay, lesbian, tranny you get to be told that God does not allow that, it is not written in the bible. You don't get to be free, you live your life by pleasing others. No wonder we have married men and women who have partners outside their marriage a.k.a AmaAfter Nine.
• To have a middle class life you need money, but with the interest rating being incremented like this, well the poorer become more poorer. You get to ask yourself now, will I ever get a chance to buy a brand new car, live in a luxury house and have two kids and be married to a very beautiful partner. Those partners they are expensive. Everything is now expensive, I mean you used to enjoy a gum that cost you 0,05 cents not it is worth 0,30 cents. How crappy is that.
• Cigarettes? men those things help you deal with a tough situation, but they have this weird messages on the boxes that say "... Smoking can kill you...". Do you really want to die? Well, I had a cigarette this morning and I felt awesome since I don't smoke religiously, I had to try some today, oooh what a feeling I tell you.
• Wine, ooh man, they have discovered that, if a man drinks three glasses of wine a week, the chances of testosterone to be high is good, remember there is always a but, but if you do have more than that your are increasing a chance to have diabetes.

Now, what is good, I mean even driving 270km/h is illegal, even though it is illegal, you get this exciting rush, your adrenalin tells you something hey. Well, I think we should just accept things the way they are, and live to take into considerations other fellow human beings.

Am I insensitive?

I had a heart heated discussion with my flat mate the other day, regarding this rampaging epidemic that is claiming our lives. The discussion started after hearing a lady who called MetroFM at that time during Criselda Kananda's talk show and confessed that she is scared and worried to a point that her stress is causing her CD4 count to go down. My flat mate is white and he was distraught, and he went on about the Government not doing much to help, and since I come from the Bundus, you can say the farms... ko magaeng kwa. I had to voice my opinion and he was not impressed with what I said.

The thing that I said that night, you might not agree with me like he did and end up saying I am full of shit. This is what I said:

• The lady who called, her English was properly articulated i.e she is an educated lady.
• She must have read at least one pamphlet that warned against unsafe sex.
• Did she let few seconds heated emotions blindfold her to a point that she couldn't tell her boyfriend to put on a condom.
• Since I was convinced that she knows the danger associated with unprotected sexual intercourse, how do you compare her to a girl who is living in a rural areas where topic like this don't get to be discussed freely.
• Should I feel sorry for her? Well, I was two sided.
• If the Government do have awareness campaign now and then about HIV and AIDS but still people who are supposed to be intellectuals aren't taking the message seriously, what is the point of wasting all this money for.
• We do get infected every second from the virus and there is an uproar about it all the time.
• Is HIV virus better that other pandemics?
• I mean people do have pains every night due to different kinds of cancers, but an HIV infected person sleep like an angel while the CD4 count is high, should we level all this diseases and not make an issue out of just one.

The bottom line is I myself, I am scared, and I don't want to hear my Doctor telling me that I do have the virus. I think we need to take extra good care of ourselves, not just to avoid getting infected by the HI Virus. Acquiring information and staying well educated and informed about all the things that might affect our healthy life is essential, we need to start taking note of what is happening around us and asking your partner to go for a test of any kind is the first step you can learn a lot from.

Too Black to be a South African?

There is always an uproar when a white person in so called the new South Africa do something that is seen as demoralizing. I am saying this with regards to what happened about a month ago in Bloemfontein, University of Free State. I am not condoning what those students did, it is so wrong what they did. Now tell me, do you think those black workers would have been keen to partake in a scene like that if they were asked by a bunch of black students? I doubt that, the students would have been labeled as being disrespectful and all. The thing I know about us darkies in South Africa is that, we are still on the impressing route. What are we doing as "Black South Africa" to make sure that we don't see matters like this surfacing, giving other people of color to practice what their forefather did to our grandparents? We can't possibly stand for ourself and believe in what put Nelson Mandela in prison. Is being black give us an excuse not to take charge of what is right, do we always have to follow trends started by mogos, who get paid to make us look like fools. If you think I am being unreasonable and uninformed, tell me, what do you think about the Noord Taxi drivers and a mini skirt saga, the ANC youth league, Zuma suggesting indirectly that Thabo Mbeki be released from being a mediator in the Zimbabwe voting issues.

Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be black, what happened to our pride. If you go around, you get to see people spitting on the concrete floor, urinating anywhere, dropping anywhere. What are we doing to our environment, Haai Darkies please, you guys are going to far now, haaibo.

Coconut

Recently Xolani Gwala called one of his colleague a coconut. I have been trying to find out what conclusions can be drawn in order for one to say someone is a coconut, the reason being, when I was growing up I was fond of imitating English speaking presenters or actors and I went as far as adopting their accent. I did not attend a model c school nor go to a white university. Is an accent one of the thing that determine if you are a coconut or not? I was once called a coconut and it never bordered me. So if someone out there knows the answer please enlighten me.