What a difference a Year makes. . .

What a year, what a year, what a mighty good year.

This year will be remembered by all for years to come. We've been exposed to financial recession (credit crunch), the ANC split (Old ANC = New ANC + COPE)being confirmed, Swine Flu attacks, The general elections, Julius Malema's rants, The 2010 World Cup Match draw. The list is endless. All incorporates the good and the bad.

Personally, this year has been a roller coaster for me in some weird way, but the good outweighed the bad. Thank you Lord for that.

When I look back now, all I see is that I have concurred a peak that was prohibiting me to see the other side of the mountain. Work wise, it has been a challenge as always. I managed to learn a few tricks but not as much as I wanted. I have been exposed to a couple of good team members, gained a couple of good friends who instilled a certain amount of wisdom in me, and I came out of my shell (Not going back in there ever). I work hand in hand with my supervisor and it gives me a great pleasure to know I can talk to him about anything, personal to professional. He is currently my mentor.

On the other hand, life has been good. I thank God for looking after my family, even though I lost a couple of family relatives and friends. May their soul rest in peace. My sister got married and my baby sister finished her studies at Vuselela College , and a list of my nephews increased by 1.

Relationship wise, I concur I have been lucky to have a partner in my life. . . Life is Good in that department.

Possibilities, I guess that will depend on how I step into the year 2010. Everyone is talking about Soccer, the good life, the country's GDP growth, Investment growth etc. All I know is that what I am feeling re the 2010 is yet to be believed. I have 365 days to make it happen. I am excited, I hope God helps me to complete these three big projects I have in mind.

My activities this year includes going to the gym and I am proud of myself because I have shed a large percentage of body fat. I have developed an interest in running. Recently, I ran an 8.5 KM race under 40 min.



On the 29th of Jan 2010 I will be running a 10.5 KM race in Camps Bay, and after that I will be practicing for Two Ocean Marathon Half Race which is a 21.1 KM run. I am planning to reach the finish line under 2 hours from the starting line.

I will be writing my 2010 progress as time goes by.

Most importantly, this year I have learned to love myself more, land on the ground swiftly and be myself.

What a year this has been . . . Life Goes On.

This is me now. . .

I am taking it easy as I promised myself. I am capturing or let me say reminiscing about the life I have led to date. And let me tell you, the residuums are showing a tumultuous, compassion and fortitude life led smoothly. Not forgetting extolling honesty I received from my folks and siblings.

Form today I have a limited time and bang, before I know it I will be in my thirties. But lofty is all I am exalting and a wise man once said, “… Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse. ...” he continued to say,”… The prospect of the righteous is joy, but the hopes of the wicked come to nothing…”

I woke up with these words in my mind {my life has been flourishing, I am thanking God and the positive people I have surrounding me at all times and I believe that life loves the liver of it}.

Life is not all flourishing at times Irvin that is what I am saying to myself right now. There have been people in my life who meant well, taught me valuable lessons, and others who have meant me ill and have given ample notification that my world is not meant to be all peaches and cream.

At one time, I was caught in a mist and my life was cloudy (it happens to everyone, some make it and the unfortunate sink deeper and deeper and before you know it there is no turning back), but Pheeha Moila became the rainbow in my cloudy life. Ever since that day, I never looked back. I made a commitment to myself, amongst those commitments I wanted to lead a healthy, fruitful, and successful life. I am glad to say I am slowly climbing the stairs of wisdom, courage, success and loving Pheeha is what I live for.

This is the day I was born and I am rejoicing and am glad in it. God is the only supreme and no one will tell me otherwise.

My up coming birthday.

Wow, I have been neglecting this side of the world and I am not proud but hey, I have been inspired. I have been reading a lot, especially Maya Angelous's autobiographies. That old woman is gifted. Such wisdom instilled in her. Wow.

Anyway, this coming Sunday, 20th Dec I will be celebrating my birthday and I am again grateful to my Parents and my partner for loving me unconditionally. I have been shining since the day I met you babes. I hope God can grant us many more years together.

I am planning to have a chilled day on Sunday, just to reflect back on my life and the wonderful little things I have achieved to date. They may be worthless asserts but, hey, every time I look at them I feel blessed.

I am BLACK like that!

I'm black and I'm proud, but i'm tired of beating my head against the wall and kissing arse just to be regarded as a nice, hardworking and intelligent black person.

Why does one always have to be doubted at all times when given a task?

My forefathers were buked, scorned and made to feel inferior, but currently the dance is still the same even though the rhythm has changed.

At work when you complain seeking justice and fair treatment you get to be asked if you need more training. WTF. You came to complain about the treatment you are exposed to not, the skills you might be needing to do your work well.

I love my job but more importantly I love being black, and I bet my grandfather won't be saying the same if he was still alive. Being black back then was more like you are being a suspect. Today the pain of being black is that you have to prove yourself over and over since we are still used as buffers indirectly.

What pisses me off is that we darkies we love to bear the brunt of everybody else's contempt.

I'm black and I don't feel burdened by it and I don't think its a huge responsibility. It's part of who I am, it does not define me.

So long Obz. . . U've been good to me.

I moved. Yesterday i was bidding farewell to my place in Observatory. I enjoyed staying there but I reckon it is time for change. There are few things that i'm going to miss about Obz, for one, pick and pay, how breezy the place would make me sound at times and the friendly faces.

But, not all is lost, I still work there, I just don't live there and my new place of residence is hectic. Noises everywhere, my bedroom is opposite to frequently used lift, ooh i don't need an alarm because the early birds are the one waking me up. Fantastic. I love the space, the flat is great. Well, since I am not planning to be in CPT for long now, i might as well enjoy my last days while i'm still here.

Words of Encouragement. . .

Coming together is the beginning

Life can be interesting at times, painful too, well, it depends on your frame of reference on how you live your life, but to me life is a mystery I unfold every step I take. In life we meet people from different corners, we develop relationships either with our parents, siblings, friends etc. but nothing beats meeting a very interesting person whom you think might make a positive impact on your life. I met a couple, very interesting indeed. When one gets to meet new characters it’s always interesting and you'd not want to loose contact with that particular person.

But,

Staying together is a progress. . .

You will agree with me when I say it takes gumption to make any kind of relationship work. Think back at the days when you were a teenager. Do you strongly believe if your parents or siblings were mere friends you meet on the streets would have given a time of the day to tolerate your fluctuating hormones? Now that’s progress coupled with love and understanding that your parents or siblings showed you. Understanding is one strong constituent of keeping any kind of a relationship together. It's hard though, but if one is determined then all will be well. I am no expert when it comes to making a relationship work, actually I suck. Anyway, progress entails trials, tribulations and trust. As soon as trust is gone everything is lost . . . but while trust is there. . .

Working together upshot success. . .

And, when you read a job spec they would talk about team work. Working in a team or together always speeds up the achievement of the results, why is that? Well, the job gets to be shared accordingly to each team member based on each one's ability or expertise. That is work relationship, but how does working together work in a personal level relationship? Well, sharing responsibility, being equal, honesty, and understanding (here it is again), and most importantly sacrificing. But then again, what the bleep do I know?

Now....

There has been so much happening in my life lately. From personal to professional wise. And, I am glad that my love life is blossoming everyday, going from strength to strength. I have a new interest and I want to develop it further. My world, well, my new passion is investments. One thing for sure there is so much out there that one is clueless of. We hear people talking about shares (stocks, bonds), the financial news get broadcast everyday and the data is scrutinized. But, does one actually knows how to invest wisely? Or, when to invest. There are what is called a bear, bull, pig markets etc. out there but when is the right time for one to invest in funds (mutual or hedge)? OK, I have been consumed by this soft economic science and I want to know everything that has to be known regarding asset management. . . I am really enjoying this.

Riding on the open range

Finally, ooh finally, modimo o na le mosa le one mohau. Ga go tlhokege gore ke tlhole ke tshabela diketso tsa me. Monongwaga ke itshepisitse gore popego ya me e tlile go nna e e farologaneng. Ke itumela go kwala jaana gore dilo tsotlhe di tsamaya ka tolamo le maikemisetso.

Ke tshedimosetso e e tlhabosang go re ke ts`habo e e tolameng le malatsi a a maleba gore ke bo ke le mo maemo a ke leng mo go ona.

Ke leboga go menagane...

Kitso le tshedimosetso ke di tlhabo tse di gagametseng e le ruri.

The impact of Smoking...

One of my colleagues asked me to accompany him last Thursday when he was going for a smoke break. When we were outside, I asked him for a puff, and he gave me the cigarette. I lit the cigarette and puffed away, and after that I felt relaxed and calm. Yes, I do smoke but I smoke casually, and the last time I smoked was last year December until last week.

So, there I was in December when I was spending festive season with my loved ones, then I got to realize that all my childhood friends do smoke. Most of all my home friend, Lebogang, he smokes like a chimney. Wow, the guy can finish over 25 cigarettes in a day. Then, me being silly, I decided to try the puff and pass. I bought myself a full packet. What a feeling! I was starting to enjoy it but me being afraid of my mom; the poor woman discovered a packet in my jean pocket. I had a lot of explaining to do. I am from a family where no one is smoking, so you can imagine the lecture I had to sit down to.

All of this got me thinking, as usual everything and anything gets me thinking. Then, I asked myself what is it that drives one to start smoking.
o Peer pressure?
o Stress?
o Boredom?

Those were the three main reasons I thought of that tends to draw people to smoke. Then I started projecting my life in two years time smoking. I did not like what I saw. Smoking is addictive and it is one of the most difficult addictions to break. I know because smoking got me to loose my uncle, he was a great man but he smoked his life away, and I don't want to end up like him. So, that is why I decided never ever to touch a cigarette again. Pity, someone out there who has been smoking for years can't easily say what I just said.

Smoking is a social activity as well. Many people who smoke do so as a way to start conversations and interact at parties or in crowded places. This is known as "social smoking," and it usually involves alcohol as a complement.

At first, smoking may seem like a cool thing to do, but we don't realize how much risk we are getting ourselves into. Here are few diseases that are caused by smoking:

• Heart disease
• Bronchitis
• Lung cancer, and many other forms of cancer















• Strokes
• Emphysema

Growing up, my brother and I used to argue with out uncle for smoking inside the house when we were around. We were exposed to second hand smoking, but we could not do anything about it since he was older. Most, people don't realize how much they are affecting those around them when they smoke; either you smoke inside the house or on the streets.

I am now more worried about my friend than ever. Lebogang is only 24 years old and his smoking is influenced by uncountable personal reasons, and smoking will definitely affect him as he progresses in life.

Now, suppose you smoke close to 10 cigarettes a day, everyday. How much do you think you can save up if you were not smoking? Hypothetically this is how much one spends in a week smoking.

• A smoker needs a mouth refresher, so one can spend in a week close to R 12.00 on minty gum.
• A lighter can cost up to R 5.00
• Now suppose one cigarette cost R 1.50

This is how much you can expect to pay only if you buy “loose” cigarettes.











On average you do smoke 12 cigarettes a day and you spend R 125.70 a week. In total, the amount you spend a week amounts to R 142.70.
• Monthly you spend R 570.80
• Yearly you spend up to R 6,849.60, and that is a lot of money.
If you continue to smoke for four year, you will end up spending R 27,398.40 and that’s a lot of money.
Now, what is it that you get in return?
• Blocked or damaged lungs.
• Bad breath
• Eye problems
• Discolored teeth (ugly stains on your teeth)
Most importantly, it has been proven that if you have been smoking for over 5 years you are drastically decreasing your breathing capacity e.g.
If you are 35 years old and you have been smoking for 12 years, then you can have a smoking capacity of a 50 year old individual. So in essence, you are shortening your lifespan.
Quitting is hard; so one has to think hard if they want to make smoking nicotine a part of their life. I realized that I have a tough job on my hands, which is, convincing my friend to stop smoking and showing him the benefits of doing so. The only thing I can do now is to support him, and encourage him. So, you out there, think twice before you think of entering this “cool” world of smoking. SMOKING kills.

The story of my relationships

So, have you been in a relationship or met someone whom you end up spending the night with? Then in the morning you are puzzled, and the only thing that you can do is to ask yourself," What the hell have I done?” Don't get me wrong, I do not do one night stands nor have friends with benefits. One night stands revolts me. Why? Well, my last relationship ended because of them one night stands.

I have been through different kinds of relationships before, but there is one that takes the cup cake. I was involved in a relationship in 2006 till late 2007 which ended up in a disaster, and left me with emotional scars in the process. I am over that, and I am glad my work was there to keep me busy. I don't talk about this part of my life a lot, but I think it is time I put it down on paper. There were things that bothered me a lot within this relationship, but there is no greater feeling in being aware that there are people who are there to help you out with what ever problem you are faced with. My friends were there for me, thank you guys.

I don't know what changed, all of a sudden I saw myself sacrificing a lot of thing that mattered to me. This is what I had to go through:

• Declining of an opportunity to study for masters at Wits. Why did I do this? Well, my partner kept on telling me that if I go and study in Johannesburg then I will not only be uncommitted in the relationship but I will be moving on with my life alone. My partner insisted that I try enrolling at UCT or UWC or still stay a student at Stellenbosch University.
• I also turned down a scholarship offered to yours truly to go to Japan and do masters there. For what? I ask. Well, for the sake of being with the one I believed loved me.
• The worst thing is that, I was expected to spend every weekend at my partners place. Quality time I was told, and then what happened? My school work started suffering, but I made sure to pull up my socks during the week to make up for lost time. Funny enough, the weekend ended up the both of us fighting.
• There was one thing that always puzzled me. My partner always wanted to know all my friends, and where I have met them and what do we say to each other. If I put down a phone I get to be asked, “Who was it? And what he or she saying to me?” No problem with that, but to be asked all the time, hallooooooooo! That spell jealousy, an extreme one for that matter, well, your phone might as well be bugged.
• My so called x partner had a house, and I was always told, the house is my home too. Funny enough, when decisions were made, I was not consulted. I then told my x partner that there in no use in saying the house is my home but I am not consulted or simply told of anything that happens. That led to a lot of disputes. My x partner would cover the situation by saying I was being surprised. I was surprised indeed.

• There were times when I felt like being alone or go visit my friends. I will do that, but when I return to the house my x will be tempestuous. If I leave I have to say where I was going and when will I be back, but my partner would leave without telling me where to look if something is wrong.
• I was expected to be by my ex.’s side at all times when my x is having a get together with friends, a bbq or something.
• My partner always reminded me about past relationships that did not work out and If I am planning to do the same thing, I have another thing coming. I was reminded regularly re my ex.’s time at prison. Too much baggage for my liking.
• My x used to buy me a lot of gifts of which I refused most of them. The only thing that I accepted was a phone and a laptop, but they were seized from in a malicious way when I wanted out. The news of me wanting out were not welcomed, I was labelled a gold excavator, unattractive and selfish person.
• My x was so "concerned" about me to extend that jobs were explored on my behalf and I was told which one will be best suited for me. Where the hell was my self-esteem? Mmm…
• My family were fond of my ex, but I never spend 10 minutes with my ex.’s family.
• I am not going to touch the mood swings and violent tempers. Those ones were eldritch and shuddery. I feared for my life. I remember the kitchen door got smashed and dismantled.
• Everything that escalated was always seen as my fault. Silly I, I always kept quiet when my partner screamed a storm in the house. I was regarded as the cause of the screaming. Screaming for simple issues? Well, professional help is needed.



Above all this, I got to realise that my ex's is someone who lacked confidence and self-sustenance at that time. So, whoever was around, had to feel the same. I hope you understand what I mean by this. I ended up doing a lot of introspections and I decided to call it quits before I self destruct. The baggage from my ex's youth life and other previous relationship experienced made it not easy to have a normal relationship.

Due to the fact that I ended the relationship when my x least expected. I was called a gold digger, anti spyware (my ex got into my emails account with out my permission, examined my phone messages and asked one of our mutual friend to translate those written in my mother tongue), but now it turned out that my ex's current friends are told I am the one who was doing that. Apparently my ex bought me a car (my ex's current friends were told) , and on top of that I left, leaving my ex with a debt of over R30k, which I caused. Oh man, what did I buy?

The only things that I got out of all the relationships I was involved in, is to love myself first before I can love the other person and be there for the person who is in my life, by talking things through and sure as hell not to be a victim by ignoring the inner voice. I gained control of my life and I don't intend to let anyone take control of it while I am still alive. I strongly believe each and every relationship is a lesson and I have learned at least 30% of such.

The meaning of Life...

I have been trying to figure out what life means, despite the fact that it is defined as a characteristic of organisms that exhibit certain biological processes such as chemical reactions or other events that results in a transformation.

Life is full of the good and the bad, from one being happy and the other searching for happiness, while others are feeling lonely, sad, empty even though the might be having "a thing" that makes the world go round, money. I was once told that if I truly want to be happy I should carve my path to happiness and joy by knowing God. Well, I grew up going to church, both my brother and sister studied Theology but all I have gathered is that I went to church regularly not to know God but to be counted amongst those that do attend church service and to also to follow my parent's wishes. I do not regret going to church, I met a lot of people through going to church. That still does not give a meaning to life. Most of the time I do feel that life is quintessential of high school environment. When you are with your parents, you still get to be controlled, when you are with other elders the same thing happens, even at work, in a relationship (any kind of a relationship).

Does life means being controlled by your superiors or one serving his or her purpose on this earth?

I am still puzzled...

A pure STAR...

I always say there are stars and there are followers. Jennifer Hudson is a STAR, no one can dispute that.

If you do not believe me check out her video, rather her performance at the 2009 Grammy. Outstanding performance.

Why the hell is Julius Malema the ANCYL president?

I am now beginning to believe Mangosuthu Buthelezi when he said Julius Malema is a spoilt brat who does not know when to keep his mouth shut or when to comment. The young man is busy dragging his name in the mud. He was the one who said in public that Thabo Mbeki should leave the presidency, he then said he will kill for zuma, the list is endless. Later, he attacked the IFP, actually Buthelezi. Now, this one takes the cake, he recently aggressed Minister of Education, Naledi Pandor. This is what he had to say:

In a copy of the letter addressed to Pandor, the African National Congress Youth League leader said on Thursday: "I acknowledge that the remarks I made against you were uncalled for and might have disappointed and hurt you.

"I write this letter to unconditionally apologise for those remarks."

For how long will the so called youth of South Africa let him disrespect people like this. I think someone should announce in public that he needs to go. I am tired of him.

For how long will the ANC excuse the utterance of this young man?

Ek is alweer at it...

What will the world be like if we were immortal?

A must read book...

I went to Cavendish Square with a friend on Saturday, the 31st of Jan and I decided to step into a book shop (Exclusive books) to scout for something interesting to read. I bumped into a very interesting yet expensive book. The name of the book is Hungochani: The History of a Dissident Sexuality in South Africa. By Marc Epprecht.

Apparently, "hungochani" is a Shona word for m2m (man to man) sex and the author argues that m2m is not a European thing that's why it has these indigenous names unlike bread called "borotho" from the Afrikaans word "brood".

Homosexuality - or hungochani as it is known in Zimbabwe - has been denounced by many politicians and church leaders as an example of how Western decadence has corrupted African traditions. However, a bold new gay rights movement has emerged in several of the countries of the region since the 1980s, offering an exciting new dimension in the broad struggle for human rights and democracy unfolding on the continent.

I read bits and pieces of the book and from the fact that it captured my attention, I must have it, I want it badly. If you do have a copy, pass it over I beg.

Is treating people equally such a bad thing?

I have been observing a lot of things happening around me lately. Amongst those that did take place, there is one thing that is concerning me a lot. People aren't treated equally, and given the same respect.

If you are at work and you observe the smooth talker regarded as elite what do you do? Is the guy at the corner or the middle of the office who is doing his or her work in silence a stupid person? People tend not to realize that we all have different personalities and if you colleague's personality is versatile then most of the time he/she will be the first person who gets a promotion or a raise. What about the silent hardworking dude who only talk when he/she want information from a colleague?

I believe good management start from home, if one especially a boss or a supervisor start treating his/her colleagues differently then that shows how well his/her family foundation is build.

Mandela vs. Obama

The title is low I know, but I saw this title on my way to lunch today. I got fierce. Actually the title reads as follows," Is Mandela = Obama?".

I had so much to say, but now I can't put everything on paper. The only thing I can say is that: Obama did not fight for freedom but Mandela did. Now I rest my case...

Clearly the person who wrote that title has no clue about History.

Importance of Family...

I have just realised something for these past days that I have been home with my folks and siblings. Family is very important and a man without a family which he can rely on, he aint got shit. Family can’t be chosen like friends can, friends come and goes but family stays forever. The fine thing is having a family that does not judge you. Judgement is harsh, but when you don’t get it from your close ones then you can concur all… Family should not be one’s last resort.