I am going down...( not the Mary J Blige song)

Oooh I wish... but one needs to rise up and take the challenge.

Getting to know someone...

I always ask myself if I would be able to distinguish between a jerk, fake, and a chancer. The reason being, I always fall for people who end up hurting me. Am I cursed? That is a question I always ask myself. I tend to be trustworthy and understanding when I am interested in knowing someone but my kindness get returned by demising deeds and I end up feeling demineralized. Weird I know... I have been sharing a flat with someone whom I thought is a kind and giving person, or maybe I was blinded by the fact that he talked a lot about God and how he gets disgusted by the behavior of people sometimes especially when they act horribly. At the end of the day, he turned out to be a nightmare to handle. I believe he's got a mental condition or something, and the highest possibility is that he is a spoil brat who never got to learn what struggle mean. I always get baffled by those who think they can buy their way by flickering their flipping notes around. Money can not buy your sanity, nor happiness or people who will regard you as a friend. Consideration is the key to my believe that, it keeps you at an equilibrium point with your peers and they get to appreciate the person in you. Now, what intrigue me most is, how do I know that the next person whom I meet who wants to build a friendship with me won't hurt me in the long run? I am not perfect either but I know where to draw a line. What characteristics does one needs to peruse before you open your doors of friendship to a passerby? At this moment I am happy just being in my own space. That is watching TV, reading, being on my laptop when I am not at work and sleep. Is this an indication of isolation on my part? I think so... But fuck it, so long as I am not hassling anyone I am happy the way I am. It helps to have time to yourself most of the time, to review your way of being. I love it... The way of being is define nicely below:

This WAY OF BEING is based on direct observation. (It is not a projection of ideals, or an attempt to solve physical or material problems, or to create wealth, or to possess power). It is a personal submission to the Great Way, not in defeat, but in LOVE, as recognition of the great strength, power, and wisdom.

Its purpose is to serve Being, by bringing into awareness and putting into practice, the sacred responsibility of caring for its growth. We know, that in order to take good care of something, we need to be sensitive to its needs. We must also have some idea of the purpose which is expressing itself in the form of these needs.

So, before we speak of caring for Being, we might ask "What is the purpose of Being?"

Observation only reveals that Being is change. So, perhaps what we can honestly say is that all we really know of its purpose is this changing. As Human Beings we have a choice. We can embrace this changing, or we can fight against it.

I call this changing process growth, as a reminder that Being is a living thing. Being, growth, and health are one and the same. The way of Being is caring for its growth, and its health is a reflection of its quality.

Growth is the natural state of Being, but the quality of its health encompasses great extremes. It can be restricted and stifled, or it can be forced and strained. But both of these efforts actually weaken it. The strongest, most powerful, and long lasting growth, occurs naturally, without any manipulation whatsoever. For this reason, it is so important to allow growth its own time.

In reference to guiding growth to produce an envisioned result - this is actually weakening too. Being determines its own way, and takes its own form, in its own greatest strength, when its incomprehensible wisdom is trusted and allowed.

But this is not to imply that an individual has no part or responsibility in growth. The exact opposite is true. The kind of allowing that is required is so subtle that constant vigilance is necessary. One's senses must be kept open and receptive, in order to be as responsive as possible to the unique stimulus of each moment.

But at the same time, one must not interfere or distort the will of wholeness, by becoming disconnected from it in selfishness. This is one practical reason why many spiritual teachings urge us to reach beyond the limitations of our personal point of view.

Being naturally cares for the needs of each and every distinction of its parts, but it has such an unexpected way of doing this, that its care also contains the subtle teaching of its own nature.

Through conscious practice, it nurtures and feeds itself by giving and receiving. Neither of these can be practiced to the exclusion of the other. Both are important and necessary.

In this way it trains us to be attentive, and to serve it willingly and responsibly. One becomes its trusted and reliable servant

The senses - of perception, intuition, reflection, and feeling of all kinds, are highly refined capabilities, and are invaluable when used with the skill of experience. This must be said because, as a culture, we have been taught to distrust and invalidate this realm of experience, and to rely only on the proof of rational, intellectual, and logical thought.

But the senses are actually a direct connection, and a way of "understanding" that which is not rational. They teach when they are recognized and honored, and they grow as they are used. Actually, every ability and talent of our form is a part of purpose. And, it seems that purpose in our lives has to do with their integration, allowing Being the ever greater and clearer expression of its way.

There are many things that can interfere with this way, but the main one is simply ignorance. The value and wisdom of this kind of growth is not common knowledge. So, an integrated awareness of the way to allow Being must be learned and practiced. Learning is found on every sincere path, and our lives are our sacred practice.

Being is One, so an obvious example of this practice is to treat oneself and the other with the same sensitivity and quality care. There cannot be strong growth of one and not the other.

All is One and grows as One.

It is for this reason that compassion is considered important, and why judgment is considered as something to be avoided. Compassion opens the heart, allowing energy to naturally flow, resulting in strong growth. Judgment is essentially a refusal to accept what is. It creates a kind of friction which restricts the flow of energy, and weakens growth. The practices of extending compassion and refraining from judgment, lead to a greater unity in awareness, and a greater ease in Being. So these are important in caring for the Whole.

There can be great difficulty when it is realized that the opening which is necessary for giving and receiving, is also an open door for negative energy. But this is really a blessing in disguise, because it forces one to find the strength of an even deeper understanding.

The awareness that includes both positive and negative in its growth, it truly whole, and allows one to serve wholeness. From this point of view, it can be seen that all kinds of energy are food for growth, and that which we commonly react to with a negative interpretation (insult, disrespect, disagreement, pain, hardship, etc.) are really lessons for us. When we rise to meet the challenge, we are automatically embodying every available resource of our Being.

This is the way Being naturally integrates itself. When this is understood, we can be more relaxed in the process, and even learn to experience it with appreciation.

The wisdom and knowing of Being speaks to us in all aspects of growing. And the natural sensitivity within ourselves, which we nurture through our practice, can sense and understand it, just by being it and noticing it.

Over time, a trust grows, and a skill develops. Then the practice of flowing with it, of allowing it to determine itself, and make of us an ever more understanding, sensitive, and responsive part of it, becomes a service.

But all along, no matter at what stage we may find ourselves, we are truly practicing our sacred responsibility as living creatures. And this practice is ultimately the essence of value and meaning.

It has no goal and it has no end.

It arises out of LOVE, as the expression of Being itself.

It satisfies itself in its own Being.

Our senses do naturally guide us in this direction. My own sensing of a need has prompted me to write down these thoughts, which originally grew out of my own need and practice. They are meant to nurture the growing awareness. Not to be rigid rules.

Freedom, what does it mean?

In South Africa we regard those who were born after 2004 as born free, but what is freedom. People tend to hover around when trying to come up with a proper definition of freedom and democracy. Freedom is simply the condition of being free; the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints whereas Democracy means the government of the people by the people for the people, at least I learned that when I took History as one of my subjects at school.

In our bill of rights they state that we have freedom of speech, but the are things that one can't just blurt when ever they feel like expressing one's feelings because the message can be conveyed in a state where one tend to hurt the other one's feelings. Maybe I am still not grasping the whole concept here. Since I am in a democratic company and I feel I am free except from thugs can I go into my kitchen and steal my food, say anything I like, drive 220km/Hr, smoke dagger or "tik"? Well, you will be acting immorally according to social ethics.

There is only one thing that one need to think about, which is , at what point does my freedom impinge on another person's freedom, and therefore nullify such freedom?

The only thing that I believe will be able to solve all the social hindering that we tend to experience in SA now and then, is to let people learn what it means to be having rights. Most human rights that are on our bill of rights tend to keep others under suppression due to the fact that they are not being exercised properly. If you are allowed to smoke, which is by choice, do it in a sense or manner that other around you don't get to inhale the smoke, spitting in pavements really? that is too goofy for my liking. Well, I believe South African need to be taught on how to interact socially and responsibly. When we got what is called freedom, people thought it is a chance to do whatever they felt like doing without being responsible about their actions.... We need to learn... not just at school and varsity but everywhere you go you need to learn about things that are surrounding you.

Anti Foreigners violence in South Africa.

I have been stunned by the riot going on in Johannesburg, Alexandra township recently. As a South African citizen, the question that arises in my head is what is it that I want for my country, so that I can be proud and be able to raise my SA flag so high to show that I am proud to be a citizen of this country. Definitely not this disgracing inhuman violence that has been infiltrated to our African brothers and sisters. Yes, we are poor, we are still waiting for the Government to deliver on their promises but that does not mean we need to take our frustration out on others. Someone claimed he has been paid to cause the riot, others say the people who are not South African they take their jobs away. How do you expect to have a job while sitting at home and blame those who do come and make use of every opportunity that you as a SA citizen don't want to take advantage of. How will this impact on the upcoming world cup? How can we be so barbaric to our fellow human beings? It looks like people are no longer listen, I mean this issue has been condemned by Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu

The attacks have been concentrated in Johannesburg's poorest areas, and many of the victims were Zimbabweans who have fled repression and dire economic circumstances.

The Nelson Mandela Foundation issued a statement condemning the "senseless violence" that police say was sparked a week ago in Johannesburg's Alexandra Township. The police, ooh don't get me started on those ones, they are to be blamed too. Police are not helpful to foreigners, they will rather ask for their ID's and if the poor person does not have one, they will arrest him in public casting racism words. Well, it looks like this time since they have been propelled to quell the incident, they might come right after all.

As a South African I feel sorry for other South African who are overseas because they might experience the outcry of all this. Just put yourself in the shoes of those Zimbabweans and other who have been assaulted, victimized and tortured during this riot and ask yourself how will you feel if the same thing was to be inflicted on you.... I mean really bo kae botho?

South Africa's Premier Theatre Awards...

A few weeks ago I had a chance to watch the prestigious event on SABC3, the Naledi Theatre Awards. I was blown away by the set up, simple yet classy, I simply loved it. The presenters were timeless, beautiful and knew their story. Apart from the event being all glorious, I couldn’t help but worry from the fact that most nominees were from the following plays only:

• Hair
• Hair Spray
• Rent
• The Lion King
• Fiddler on the roof

As if that was all, I was astonished when I saw two people or more being nominated in one category from the same production or rather a play. That resulted in the nominee having a greater chance of scooping the award which according to me is not fair. Well, who am I to argue, the judges’ decision was final and probably that is how the Naledi committee operates.

The good news is that the performances on that night were stupendous, tasteful, vibrant, enticing, and guaranteed to make sure you stay glued to your screen. Who ever said our white brothers and sisters don’t have soul? If you still doubt, well you should have seen Danny K collaborating with the Soweto Gospel Choir. Tamara Dey was simply sizzling; her voice is one of those that make me keep on buying our local music. She is now a well established muse. Mmmmm….

On that note, I believe Loyiso Bala’s days of glory are numbered. There is one Bala brother who sings like a song bird, (Google the name) is his name and Loyiso must watch out because the brother is slowly but surely stealing some of his lime light. Well coming back to the Naledi’s, Zwai Bala and (Google the name) Bala of the Bala brothers delivered a sensual performance. To top it all, our own well known South African Pop Idols judge, Mara Louw gave a thrilling performance together with the Hairspray cast. Ooh, I was speech less, I knew she could sing but not like she did that night, I fear that she can out done one of them screamers, the likes of Beyonce (I am not hateful, Queen B Knowles is the bomb, I love her music). I strongly believe the likes of Kelly Khumalo, Chomi, the bling girl Khanyi Mbao, Somizi, and the wanna be muses could learn from Mara how things are done in the music industry.

Most of the time when the award winner step up on the stage you hear things that are now too cliché, even though it was the case here I was baffled by the speeches given by the life time achievement awards receivers. Wesley Msomi, who is a well know writer gave a lame speech, I think he did not edit it or maybe he was trying to be creative, I mean giving us info about his parents and his type writer. As if that was all, the second achiever gave a terribly speech regarding her husband, but it was a good thing that his son was there to rescue his mother from ouch speech she gave.

During fashion shows, designer creates a dress, it could be wedding gown or something out of the ordinary and call it a show stopper. Ooh man, the Naledi Awards had one that was unplanned called Lebo M. I am not going to say much on the issue, just watch the video and you will understand why I say that. Ooh, excuse the video’s resolution, I know they suck but the main objective is to get the juicy details of the shoe stopper.

Beside what was said by a well know producer of the Lion King, Lebo M, the show was awesome. Good television I tell you.